And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
