Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
