dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
