this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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