I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
