I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
