MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
