people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
