i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
