Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
