Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
