I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
