I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
