Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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