Screwed.edu
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
