Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
