Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
