All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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