i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
