were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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