just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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