worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
