I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Damn victory sex feels great
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
