no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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