Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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