I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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