Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize