I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
