I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
