she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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