i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
