i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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