opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
