maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
