i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
