Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
