if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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