Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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