NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Randomize
