Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
