Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Randomize
