dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
