Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
