Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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