I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
