you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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