I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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