So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
