What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
