I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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