He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
