He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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