An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
