new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
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