We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
