thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
As shirtless as possible
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
