we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
