yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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