Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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