Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
