So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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