U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize