Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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