Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
As shirtless as possible
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
