So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
