And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
