Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
