Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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