Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
