Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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