I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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