summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
