Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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