Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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