Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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