Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He had one of those small greek statue penises
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
