I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Randomize
