i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize