Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
wow bdsm is so cute
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
