so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
