she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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