And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize