i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
