So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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