Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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